Lessons for My Daughter
About a month ago, I finished Rachel Hollis’ book, Girl Stop Apologizing. As I was reading the book, and since I have finished I have noticed how often women in particular say, “Sorry” for just about everything. While apologizing and being able to forgive people is a tremendous trait that is critical for a healthy life; there are more times that I can count where women do not feel good about things that they are doing well. Instead, they actually apologize for being successful.
As I was driving my daughter tonight I talked to her about being a woman who lives proud without apology. This past week softball teams were released and the girls in the area found out which team they were on. I knew that many of the girls would end up making the U8 division. However, there would be a few like my daughter who would be chosen for the minor league. Recently there had been discussion about this among the girls, and I wanted to make sure that my daughter knew two things before she created her answer.
It would be an answer that would start her inner narrative how she might view success in the future.
I told her that if the discussion of softball came up, don’t brag, and make other people feel less than for an accomplishment of yours. But, be proud. Be proud of the fact that you are a good athlete. Answer other girls’ questions from a place of confidence. And, never apologize or feel bad for the fact that you did something well. Anyone listening to you will be looking to see how you feel about your success. They will soon have accomplishments that they want to share, and be excited to have the permission to share their strengths.
Could I teach my daughter to be able to initiate a culture of girls supporting each other in a way that would encourage strength, support, pride, community, and empathy?
One of things that I really love about my husband’s family, is how supportive the women are of each other. My sisters and mother-in-law are so great about sharing things that they do well with each other. Erin for example, can make anything. She has so much talent with crafting so many unique things. I absolutely love it when she will text a picture to us of something that she recently made. That picture is then followed by a community of women who cannot wait to share compliments with her. My sister-in-law Kate is fantastic at yoga and filled with so much wisdom in the way she thinks. My mother-in-law is awesome at finding so many interesting things out. She is always talking about news articles, health related topics, books and recipes and challenging herself. She is a wealth of information. My sister-in-law Mags always shares the coolest looking outdoor adventures of her family, and takes seriously beautiful pictures of her baby. I absolutely love that we are modeling a community of collaboration rather than competition for all of our kids.
One of the best things about our world today, is that there is enough room for everyone and her accomplishments. When we live from an abundance mindset, it becomes evident that there is more than enough space for us to cheer other women on and help them celebrate their success without taking away from ours.